Sitting in Silence

     Have you ever had a moment where you just sat in silence and thought about whatever just happened? What happened a moment ago, a day ago, a week ago, maybe even things from the past year. I've found myself doing that a lot this year and when I did have those moments I’d try to write them down in my journal so that later on in life I could remember what was important to me or what even happened through out 2013.

            I look back to May 31^st, 2012 (the day we got on a plane to move to Swaziland), and can read what I was thinking before we moved here. My expectations, fears, hopes, and questions that I had. It’s interesting to look back and see how things have fallen in and out of place as time went on and to just see how God was working. This year was probably the craziest year of my life. Moving is always hard, but when you go to another continent with a completely different culture that’s 2 worlds behind you’re previous continent, it takes it to a whole new level. Talk about the adventure of a lifetime. I think back to a year ago when we moved and where I am now and how much has happened. I went to a British international school for 6 months, finished 10^th grade in December, and decided to transfer to a school in Taiwan for 11^th grade (that wouldn’t start until August 12, 2013). That’s just the school side, on the other side, I've got to see our babies at El Roi grow and start to walk and talk, go with my mama to bring home (to El Roi) some of the new babies, etc.

     One “memory” I guess you could call it that’s treasured in my heart was with one of the moms of one of our sets of Twins, Leah and Rachel. The first time I met Nomsa was in the back of an ambulance as we were given her twins and she was rushed to the multiple drug resistant TB hospital. Since then, she’s become a big sister to me. Mom and I would go visit her and bring her treats, sit under the tree outside so we wouldn’t have to wear our masks and just talk. We encouraged her as she gained her strength and was fighting against this disease. It felt like we were fighting it with her, and I just assumed God would heal her because I know He’s big and can do anything He chooses, and this seemed like it would be such a big “win” for God, but like I said, He does what He chooses and He has a plan for everything. On top of that His plans are perfect. So when I heard that we were going to see Nomsa last Friday, and I heard the doctor say she had XDR (the last stage of TB), my heart broke. I looked at Nomsa and could see the hopelessness in her eyes as tears began to streak her face and mine as well. I didn’t understand... because we had been fighting this together? And she was supposed to get better and come home to Project Canaan? We had it all figured out and we had a plan, but this was NOT part of the plan. God was supposed to take care of the disease part, because we had everything else covered. This became one of those moments where I sat in silence, and thought. Where is God? And why isn’t He holding up His end of the bargain? That’s when you have to remind yourself that He is there and He does have a plan. His plans are perfect, and our plans aren’t always His plans, but His plans should always be our plans.

            That’s just one of the stories of this past year, but it was an extremely important one. Watching people lives here seems so much more real to me. The struggles aren’t 1^st world problems, they’re problems that effect your health and well-being. Will I have food to feed my family tomorrow? Am I safe to walk my 2-hour walk home tonight?

You see real life when you’re living here, but you see joy too. Like when you go to El Roi and Ester walks over to you with her whole face just lit up. You crouch down and she just falls/flops into your arms for a hug and then proceeds to sit in/claim your lap for the duration of the visit. How is God so big? He sees and saves this little girl, one of my little sisters who brings so much love and joy, but He doesn’t heal my big sister Nomsa who is fighting for her life.

            I'm sitting in silence as I write this, thinking about this past year and wondering, “What if my parents had said no?” Wondering how many people before them said no to this calling, and realizing how God allowed our whole family to be apart of His perfect plan. Maybe life would have been “easier” if we had stayed in Georgia, but we would have missed out on something greater than anything we could imagine. I would never have met these girls that I now call my sisters, my big sister and all of my little brothers and sisters.

            Then I pause and think about what’s to come. I'm moving to Taichung, Taiwan in 8 days from now for my Junior and Senior year (11^th & 12^th grade) of high school by myself. I could have gone back to Georgia or anywhere else God wanted me to be, but He made it clear to me that He wanted me to go to Morrison Academy. And if His plans are as perfect as everyone says they are, then why would I want to go anywhere else? Morrison is an American Christian international boarding school, with tons of missionary kids and TCK’s (Third Culture Kids) just like me. Its like “an island of misfit (freakin’ awesome) toys” and I can’t wait to call it home. 

            In a year and 8 days from now I'll read my journal entry from August 7, 2013, and see what my expectations, my fears, my hopes, and my questions were. But what I’m most genuinely excited for is to see how God has exceeded them all. 

           

            Wish me luck, 

                       

                        Chloe

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." 
     ~Jeremiah 29:11

What is Chloe really thinking? -- my mama & i

クロエと私は過去2週間のアジアであった。彼女は8月（グレード11と12）で学校へ行こうどこ我々は、台湾を訪問しているし、我々は我々の友人リック·ルーカスと彼の生徒たちを訪問する日本の沖縄に行きました。そこから私たちは、アフリカ日本のハートを起動するワン·ワールド·フェスティバルでの教師と生徒との結合に大阪に行ってきました。それは素晴らしい、教育と疲れる冒険されており、我々はクロエのための買い物服の日後の月曜日に家に帰る準備が整いました。

We have been learning Japanese all week and I wanted to practice my written Japanese for this blog.  That first paragraph really took a lot of work so I will switch back to English now. *

I asked Chloe to help me with this week’s blog since we have been together 24/7 for the past two weeks.  She said I could ask her questions and give her answers about the past few weeks so I hope you all enjoy her candidness and her heart. 

Janine:  Chloe, what was the best part of your first trip to Asia?

Chloe:  I loved meeting all the people at the Morrison Academy in Taichung, Taiwan.  I felt that God was there with me and that all my 16-year old doubts about the school and the situation got checked off as the days past.  I met people who were so different from anyone I have met before and I felt that I finally fit in somewhere, but could still be my unique self.    I love that I have met people who are like me and now I understand that I am a TCK and what that means.

Janine:  What is a TCK?

Chloe:  TCK is a “Third Culture Kid”.  It’s when a kid grows up in one culture and then moves to a whole new culture and goes to school with other kids from other cultures. This creates a third culture that brings everyone together and creates a new perspective or mindset.  That is the “third culture”. Every TCK understands that each person has gone through similar changes (moving, changing schools, loss of friends, starting over, world being flipped upside down etc).  My new school happens to be a place that brings TCK’s together creating a “home” when describing where “home” is, can be complicated. 

Janine:  Are you nervous about going to school a million miles away from your parents on a foreign continent?

Chloe:  As of right now, my answer is “no”.  I have already made one huge change in my life (moving to Africa) so change seems pretty normal nowadays.  Of course I will miss my parents, as any kid does when they first move away from home, but I am so unbelievably excited about this that it makes moving away much easier.

Janine: What did you think about the second part of your trip – your time in Japan?

Chloe:  Now THAT felt like a completely different planet than Taiwan, and Taiwan felt like a different planet than I had ever been on before.  The coolest part was being able to see my mom’s double life that she has been hiding all this time. The people she was talking about for the past five years were real.  I thought she was kidding when she told me she had to take off her designer boots and put on red rubber slippers when she entered a private High School in Japan… nope.  Dead serious.  But she does like her job, and I am glad she does.  I loved meeting people who are the same age as me, but who speak a different language and still having something in common. 

Janine:  What was the hardest part of your first trip to Asia?

Chloe:  Nothing is written in English.  Nothing. Every sign is in Mandarin or Japanese and we had to rely on others to help us around.

Janine:  Do you have any other thoughts that you would like share with the readers of this blog?

Chloe:  Yes.  Two is better than one.  It is always better to travel with someone than alone.  Traveling with my mom has been an enlightening experience, to say the least. Here are three travel tips that I learned in the past two weeks. 

1.     Sarcasm is a virtue – leverage it.

2.     When you feel like you have screwed up and created an international incident, remember to laugh, it’s better than crying.

3.     Enjoy the adventure - don’t be afraid of trying something new and miss out on something that might change your life.

Thanks for following us on this journey.  We are finishing up the ONE WORLD Festival tomorrow and head back to Swaziland on Monday night.  This has been an amazing trip, but it will be wonderful to be home again. 

Live from Japan… it’s very late on Saturday night.

Chloe and Janine

* If you know how to use google translator you will be able to see how I cheated  :)

16 & Living life

           It’s always hard to respond when people ask me where I'm from. Its even harder when someone asks “so what’s your story?” because I’m not sure if they really are interested and want to hear it or its like when your parents ask you how your day was and you say good and the conversation topic changes. You see, I have a couple of places I call home, but for starters, I was born in Toronto Ontario Canada July 5^th, 1996. The first time I went to Africa I was 8 years old (turned 9 in Africa-first birthday of many in Africa). My parents felt we were supposed to move to Atlanta Georgia when I was 9 almost 10.  People don’t generally remember too much from when they are little, but I will never forget my parents telling Spencer and I that we were moving to America. We were sitting down in a restaurant, hearing a couple of bribes (my parents were marketers.. ), and hearing that Josianne, our Nanny and my best friend wouldn’t be coming. I have no recollection of packing the house or even moving, but I won’t ever forget about that conversation, after all it was kind of a life-changing event. We lived in Georgia until right before I turned 16. While in Georgia I went to a private school called King’s Ridge Christian School until 8^th grade doing things from soccer (or “football” as they say here), and competition cheerleading to Student Council. Between 8^th grade and 9^th grade is when my parents mentioned we were moving to Africa. That sit down talk was much more recent, so I remember it quite well. It had been a pretty great day, we were at Costco and we decided to grab some lunch while we were there. Then my mom randomly says, “So Chloe, what would you think about moving to, oh I don’t know, maybe Swaziland?” Yet again with the bribes, from puppies to a car etc. (still working on that so called “car” …) When my family moves, we move countries and continents. If you’re going to move, make it big, right?  By this point I had changed schools and gone over to Milton High School for freshman year (9^th grade-Form 3) where I participated in the Cirque program.

Before I knew it, the year had flown by and we, the Maxwell family, were actually moving to Africa. After saying goodbye to friends at the airport it was only a 15-hour flight and a 5-hour drive to our new home. By this point I had spent every June-August in Africa (ranging from Swaziland, Kenya, Malawi, South Africa, Zimbabwe, etc.) since I was 8 (that’s 8 summers. -winters in Africa though). That’s a lot of Africa… and now we were moving there?  We’ve now lived here in Swaziland for 5 days less than 5 months, and that’s where I am on my journey.

          My grandpa asked me to write a blog about my different experiences or views on living in such completely different cultures: Canada, America & Africa.  I don’t remember much about Canada, but where I lived everything was really close. Spencer, Alexis, Sydney and I would ride our bikes into the “town” area all the time because it was so close. I went to a small private school called NDCA and that was all I knew. My world was small, but I guess the world isn’t that big for any little kid. Our move to Georgia opened my eyes hugely that there was a bigger world out there. Living in the “good ol’ southern hospitality” was an experience in itself, but an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything. That’s were I met my best friend Jordan Keim who has been my bestfriend for almost 6 years now, where I learned you can fry anything, and just where I lived a big portion of my life, so far. Moving to Africa has definitely been an adventure. My perspective has changed yet again, due to living in such a drastically different environment, but im pretty good with change now.

           From a small world of snow, to a bigger world with southern accents, to finally a 3^rd world (and my 3^rd world) country, my thoughts and perspective on things may differ from those of others. I now go to Waterford Kamhlaba International School which is apart of the United World Colleges (UWC), that is full of kids just like me. The conversations between people are pretty interesting and just different. Everyone that goes to my school, Waterford, has different view on the world,  and people want to hear each other’s perspectives so that they can understand just a little bit more about the world, or at least based on these people. Meeting someone from lets say Uganda and hearing there story about moving from place to place to place, the people they met, the experiences they had, etc. is just really cool.  And now I get the chance to tell a story of my own that’s just as unique as everyone else’s story here. My life has been kind of crazy, but as of yet, I wouldn’t change it if I could. 

          

            

This is real.

    This may have been the hardest week of my life, so far. How do I write about an emotion? No not one, but about a million. If I know that we are supposed to be here in Swaziland, why do I not want to be here? Life back in Georgia was so so so much easier. My small group leader (Alyse Jeffery) was one phone call away along with my small group. My friends were down the street or a couple miles away. School was closer and simpler. Internet was constant and fast. The food was what we were used to. Etc. I knew moving would be hard, and I knew I would have weeks where I missed all of this more than anything I've ever missed, but then you add on the other stuff…

    My Uncle Paul passed away this week, Thursday night. The Bannons live back at home home in Canada, Auntie Kim & cousins Jeremy, Matt, and Joanna. I can’t begin to imagine what they are going through right now. To think that they were supposed to be here last week, but then this malignant tumor came and now Uncle Paul is gone… my heart breaks for my cousins.

    When it comes to school, there is only a week and a half left of school until the August break. That means only 26 days until I get to go and visit home. Though school here is very “different,” if I hadn’t of come I wouldn’t of met all of the incredible people that I have met.

    Where is the balance…? I feel like the high days are the highest they’ve ever been (though there are not many of them) and the low days are so unbelievably low. God? Where are you? I knew moving and being here, life would be like this and I kept saying I wanted to see God and be “tested”… that was literally one of the most retarded things I’ve ever said… because he IS testing now.

    My life is literally a rollercoaster right now.. and I know I said I was ready for this, but man, this is hard. A friend of mine, who has been being “tested” from the day she accepted Christ into her life, told me once that she would rather be tested every day then have an easy going life of not being tested because she wants to fight for her Jesus, just as he fought for her. I need to get with the program because this is not going to get any easier any time soon.

     I know this blog post is kind of all over the map, but as I said, I'm trying to put something into words that isn’t normally put into words. Yes, this is getting harder, but I want/need to keep fighting every day. We are here, we did move to Africa, and we will keep fighting day by day. This is real. 

Looking Out a New Window

As I look out my window on the school bus, I'm seeing something new. At home in Georgia its just looking, but here you’re seeing. Back in Georgia you look out and see big houses, every bush is sculpted, beautiful flowers, the sun is up before you even get out of bed, etc. How could anyone say that is not beautiful?

Looking out my window here is a little different. In the morning I leave and the stars are still out.  I get to see the start to a new day, everyday, seeing the beautiful sunrise over the hills. It looks like a painting or something you’d see in a movie. As we keep driving I start to see all of the people walking to work. Some with water on their heads and others just walking. The best is when you see the Gogos (grandmothers) singing, just singing as they’re walking. Singing because it is a new day and they are grateful.

Next you hit the highway and start to see the kids that are walking to school, ranging from pre-school students to high school students. Imagine. Walking on the side of the highway to get to school from when you’re 4 or 5 until you’re done with high school. How am I complaining about my hour and a half car ride to school…? *Guilty thoughts…*

Finally as I’m approaching the hill that my school is on, we turn off of the highway. To get to my school you must drive through somewhat of a little community. I'm now seeing homes made of mud with clotheslines and hanging laundry, kids in uniforms walking to the public school that is placed at the bottom of the hill, skinny dogs roaming, a couple of cows here and there, etc. The women are looking at me through the window as I look back at them, subtly smiling back and forth at each other. I've heard people say they see “hope in the eyes of a child.,” but around here you see hope in everyone’s eyes. Truly.  I've reached my destination.

What a great way to start every day, right? Someone asked me the other day if I liked what I saw out my window better here or at home in Georgia. After thinking about it, of course my response was, I love this view so much more. This is real, not some Utopia, and it reminds me every day how blessed I am. How is that I've been coming here, to Swaziland, for the past 8 years and I'm just now seeing this new perspective on life? His creation is beautiful. 

Where do I even begin???

Where do I even begin? It’s been three days since I last blogged, and it’s insane how much has happened since then. Well, I guess I'll just go day by day starting on Wednesday, my first day of school. 



Wednesday: 


Well, I woke up at 5:00 AM, and even though it was crazy early I did have that little bit of what ever feeling its called on the first day of school. I'm pretty sure it’s a universal feeling of a little bit of depression that you seriously have to go back to school, a couple of nerves, but definitely that “excited-sh” feeling of seeing friends, new teachers, etc etc etc. Anyway, of course we leave pretty much on time (6:15), because we Maxwells are planners/like to be on time. So mom and I pull out of The Lodge and are on our way down the mountain when we run into Spencer over by the baby home with the Condor (a car) that’s at the bottom of the little dip and has stalled or something (dead battery, needs to be pushed to start, which is impossible when you are facing up hill)... to sum it up,  10-20 minutes later we finally can get by him (Dad to the rescue on his ATV) and are back on our way to school. Then of course a little later we get a stuck behind the orange pickers “train” (tractor pulling huge orange crates with workers stuffed in the back) ... but anyway we were back on our way, picked up Bailey Klee and were good to go. Interesting way to start the first day of school, but we made it to the school on time, and I got my schedule and locker etc. 



The first day was kind of insane. I met about 1,000 new faces who all knew me, but I had yet to meet them.  We went from a general assembly to English, Physics, tutor period (which is like an advisement), compute science, and math. I ended at 1:00 PM because it was a half day (all Wednesdays are).  Overall, it was a pretty good day, but I felt like a kid at Disney world. The first time you ever walk into one of the parks your just mind blown. You don’t really know what to think or where to go or anything, and of course you don’t know anyone in the parks there either, just like my school. I knew it would quickly change and I’d make friends, understand my thick thick teachers accents, grow to understand the slang (like “sketchy in America would be “dodgy” here), etc. But it was just very different.

 

Other than the school part, we DID rescue our first baby!! (: His name is Spamandla (probably spelling that wrong), and he is theeee cutest little baby. Little did we know that we had also received a baby at PC (Project Canaan) as well! Two babies in one day. It was a good day. (:



Thursday:


Now this was a long day. Woke up at 5:00 again, school started at 8:00 and ended at 4:00. Here the classes are 40 minutes and there are 11 periods a day, but you have “doubles” through out the day which is when a class had double the time it normally is (so 80 minutes instead of 40). So my schedule was: Double math, English, French, double chemistry, lunch, business, biology, & double art. Everyone says Thursdays are the longest/hardest days.. lol woooo. So that wasn’t too bad, just a long day, but it was nice because I had made some friends and new a couple more names (some of which of which I can actually pronounce). When I got home the container with all our stuff from home had arrived!!! The house was well on it’s way and I got to set up my bed (: you have no idea how exciting that was. Sleeping in my bed for the first time since the beginning of April. So. Great. Also it was Spencer’s 18^th birthday! So it was a pretty good day (: 



Friday:

You know it’s funny, normally when I'm in Africa for the summer I totally lose track of time and days, but being in school I sure knew it was Friday and was so happy the weekend was right around the corner. After my alarm clock didn’t go off, we run out the door, sped down the mountain roads on to the highway and just made it to the bus on time (7:00).  By now I had a pretty okay idea of how to get to some of my classes, and I new some people from some different groups. My day included: double Biology, double French, life skills, English, math, lunch, a double Free (so 80 minutes of break or study hall – its great) where I learned chemistry because last period of the day I had a chemistry test that my teacher was making me take. Haha. 2 hours from lunch and break to learn chemistry, yep.  (: By the time I got home I was ready to crash.



It’s been a pretty long week, but we got through. My life kind of feels like it’s on the edge and I'm missing my friends more than anything, but I know it’s gonna get easier. Going to a new school is always a challenge and is always different, so why shouldn’t this one be. It’s going to take some getting used to. 



Today being Saturday AND I have internettttttt! A lazy day, maybe a ride on the 4wheeler (ATV)  with Bailey and Spencer to the top of the mountain (where the waterfall is), and of course, a play date with the babies. (:

                                                                  

 



I'll keep updating! Prayers would be greatly appreciated. <3 

yep. we're here

We did it. My family MOVED to Africa. 365 days of preparing, packing, shipping, stress, up and downs, and we’re finally here in Swaziland for good. The rest of my posts from here on out will be about the “up and downs” of that roller coaster I'm sure, so get ready.

So we arrived in Johannesburg on June 1^st (Friday) after a 15 hours plane ride and spent the night there. The next day we took a 5 hour car ride over the boarder and into Swaziland (where we now live). Why I expected to be sleeping in my home that night, I don’t know. We spent the night at the Lodge, otherwise known at the long term volunteer home, Saturday night as well as Sunday night and we’ll probably be there for a couple more nights or weeks. You see, our house isn’t quiet finished yet. 3^rd world time is a couple months slower than 1^st world time.

Yes, it’s kinda of a bummer we’re not in our “home,” BUT at the same time were finally here. We do have a place to stay, food, and a warm bed, so there’s no need to complain. And we can go to the Klee’s house for hot showers and Internet of course!

School. I start school on Wednesday. Today is Monday. I'm not gonna lie… I'm not looking forward to getting up at 5:30 a.m. to go to a new school half way through their school year and half way into 10^th grade (form 4). Summer break started on May 18^th and was supposed to go until August 15^th, but it got cut a little short. On the other hand, I only have to do half a year of sophomore year and will be a junior by Christmas. Definitely worth it. (:

The First team traveling here doesn’t come for a week or so, so it’ll be good to be all settled in and into school and what not. The next time I post I'll tell all about Waterford (my school) and any new news.