September 11th | The Day It All Changed

Today is September 11th, 2016. A day that marks the terrorist attack in New York City 15 years ago. It is days like today where I sit back and think about what happened. 15 years ago today, grandma and grandpa pulled Spencer and I out of school and took us horse back riding - Spencer and I oblivious that our mom was under a terrorist attack in New York or that our dad was stuck on an American Airlines plane in Chicago. 

As the years go on, I begin to understand more and more about what really happened that day, and I re-read the first chapter of my mom's book, "It's Not Okay With Me". The whole world changed forever, and that meant so did we. I wouldn't be living an ordinary life, continuing my education in Canada, having a childhood home where my parents may have grown old in, or being a traditional Canadian girl. No, September 11th, 2001 changed the trajectory of my life, and my family's lives. 

After 9/11, my mom closed down her marketing agency and started new. I look at my parents and the lives they live today, and I honestly can't believe where they came from and where they are today. What an incredible journey. They've made an impact on not only the people of Swaziland, but on so many people across the world. 15 years ago today, my mom faced one of the most terrifying, life-altering days of her life, and I am in awe of the person she has become. Does our family live an ordinary life? Maybe not. A simple life? Definitely not.. But I am so grateful for the lives we have had the chance to live. Our parents taught us to live for what matters, no matter how hard it may be because it's so worth it. 

Had my mom's life not flipped upside down, I may not have had the opportunity to get the education I did, meet the incredible people across the world that I have built relationships with, or become the person I am today. Thank you mom for running over 60 blocks for your life that day and for coming home. Thank you for choosing to continue living your life to make a difference in the world and helping children out of traumatic situations, in that they too may have the chance make a difference. You may be crazy, but your one of the most courageous, strong, incredible people that I know. 

I love you mom.

September 11, a day of remembrance.

goodbye my sister.

     Friend. Sister. Mother. Daughter. Loving. Joyful. Hopeful. Helpful. Lively. Sarcastic. Smiley. Caring. Princess. Servant. Storyteller and a good listener. Blunt, but wise in her words. As she would always say, most importantly, Child of God.
     The list to describe my friend and sister Gceblie (known to some as Nomsa) is endless. For those of you that don’t know, Gceblie is a very close friend of my family’s that lived in Swaziland, South Africa. She passed away yesterday from XDR-TB (extremely drug resistant Tuberculosis). She was not doing well, and stopped her medication a week or two ago, so we knew that her time was near, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
     It doesn’t feel real... I think about our last conversation before I went back to Taiwan for school, and how I said, “now ill be seeing you at Christmas, right?” And Gceblie looked at me, did her little laugh, and half-smiled half-smirked at me, “Of course my sister.” I asked her to pinky promise (that’s what you do with sisters), and we did. Sitting there, on the end of her bed where I had sat many times before, and I missed her already.  It was going to be a long first semester if I was missing her already… and that would be the last time I would see her there.
     I think about how lucky I am to have gotten the chance to get to know her at all. What mother allows there 16-year-old to become friends with a woman who has MDR (multiple drug resistant TB), and then a year later let their 17-year-old continue to be friends with the woman after she is diagnosed with XDR-TB? Most parents are afraid to send their child to the continent of Africa in the first place because it is “dangerous,” let alone into a hospital with a silent-killing disease. I am so thankful for my mom. For whatever reason, she let me build this relationship with Gceblie, and for that I am so, so thankful. Not only that, but she allowed me to go with her week after week to visit Gceblie. At the time, I don’t think I realized how huge of an experience with God it was. I asked God to break my heart for what breaks his, and he did. Thank you mom, for allowing me to have that experience. I left a piece of my heart with Gceblie and this will be something that I treasure for the rest of my life. “I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.” Matthew 25:36 
     I am so unbelievably proud of my mom.  She’s a servant and I was proud to share her to be Gceblie’s mom too. When Gceblie wouldn’t get her own way, afterwards she would always say, “well... you are my mother, and you know what is best. And I love you.” That is an unforgettable, and irreplaceable love.
     Gceblie is an inspiration to me, and to so many across the globe. Her days were numbered, but God used every single one of them as an important task. I don’t know if she will ever know how big of an impact she made, but I hope that when we get to heaven that it will be like the end scene of titanic. That she will walk into a room, in a beautiful dress (very beautiful), and all who knew her will be standing there smiling, waiting for her. Waiting to speak together again, face to face, no masks, for eternity.

      This is not goodbye my sister, it’s see you later. You pinky promised… and I will hold you to that. I love you.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”  Matthew 5:4

Family In Different Worlds

      This morning I woke up and started checking Facebook to see what was going on with some of my friends around the world before I actually started getting ready for the day, and it’s amazing how God always just puts the important stuff at the top of my news feed. Anyways, I opened Facebook and at the top of my newsfeed I read this status that my mom had posted a couple of hours earlier saying, “Please pray for Nomsa. Her body is in seizure and she has very little use of her legs. She is back at the TB Hospital today after a very bad day at a church where she was being prayed for. Can't share details, but many evil things happened and were spoken over her. She is terrified and couldn't hold the phone due to seizures. I will go see her tomorrow. Praying for wisdom and strength for all. Welcome home.” 

      Let me first say, I love living here in Taichung, Taiwan, but when I see that status of what’s going on in my mom’s life right now, a 15-hour flight away from me at home, it makes me wish I were there. On top of that, it’s Nomsa, my big sister. I can’t hug her or be there for her. I can’t hug my mom and encourage her. I can’t go with her to the TB hospital today to see Nomsa and encourage her.
      On the other side of the world, a few weeks ago Spencer got a 3^rd degree burn on his hand and didn’t have any of us there either. He’s doing well now, but at the time my heart was in my stomach for him and I wished I could at least be there for him.            

      It’s times like these that you miss your family in each different part of the world. You wish that you could just be THERE for them. With internet I’m kept up to date, even if the time is delayed a little bit, and I can encourage my family and pray for them when I can’t literally be there for them. But it’s not the same. Today my thoughts and prayers will be with Nomsa and my mom. I'll get to see my mom in about a month when she comes to visit, and I'm praying I'll get to see Nomsa at least one more time when I go back home to Swaziland for Christmas.

<3 

    

I love you so much Nomsa. I love you, i miss you so much and I am praying for you. I wish I could be there for you right now. Please get better.

Please.

Sitting in Silence

     Have you ever had a moment where you just sat in silence and thought about whatever just happened? What happened a moment ago, a day ago, a week ago, maybe even things from the past year. I've found myself doing that a lot this year and when I did have those moments I’d try to write them down in my journal so that later on in life I could remember what was important to me or what even happened through out 2013.

            I look back to May 31^st, 2012 (the day we got on a plane to move to Swaziland), and can read what I was thinking before we moved here. My expectations, fears, hopes, and questions that I had. It’s interesting to look back and see how things have fallen in and out of place as time went on and to just see how God was working. This year was probably the craziest year of my life. Moving is always hard, but when you go to another continent with a completely different culture that’s 2 worlds behind you’re previous continent, it takes it to a whole new level. Talk about the adventure of a lifetime. I think back to a year ago when we moved and where I am now and how much has happened. I went to a British international school for 6 months, finished 10^th grade in December, and decided to transfer to a school in Taiwan for 11^th grade (that wouldn’t start until August 12, 2013). That’s just the school side, on the other side, I've got to see our babies at El Roi grow and start to walk and talk, go with my mama to bring home (to El Roi) some of the new babies, etc.

     One “memory” I guess you could call it that’s treasured in my heart was with one of the moms of one of our sets of Twins, Leah and Rachel. The first time I met Nomsa was in the back of an ambulance as we were given her twins and she was rushed to the multiple drug resistant TB hospital. Since then, she’s become a big sister to me. Mom and I would go visit her and bring her treats, sit under the tree outside so we wouldn’t have to wear our masks and just talk. We encouraged her as she gained her strength and was fighting against this disease. It felt like we were fighting it with her, and I just assumed God would heal her because I know He’s big and can do anything He chooses, and this seemed like it would be such a big “win” for God, but like I said, He does what He chooses and He has a plan for everything. On top of that His plans are perfect. So when I heard that we were going to see Nomsa last Friday, and I heard the doctor say she had XDR (the last stage of TB), my heart broke. I looked at Nomsa and could see the hopelessness in her eyes as tears began to streak her face and mine as well. I didn’t understand... because we had been fighting this together? And she was supposed to get better and come home to Project Canaan? We had it all figured out and we had a plan, but this was NOT part of the plan. God was supposed to take care of the disease part, because we had everything else covered. This became one of those moments where I sat in silence, and thought. Where is God? And why isn’t He holding up His end of the bargain? That’s when you have to remind yourself that He is there and He does have a plan. His plans are perfect, and our plans aren’t always His plans, but His plans should always be our plans.

            That’s just one of the stories of this past year, but it was an extremely important one. Watching people lives here seems so much more real to me. The struggles aren’t 1^st world problems, they’re problems that effect your health and well-being. Will I have food to feed my family tomorrow? Am I safe to walk my 2-hour walk home tonight?

You see real life when you’re living here, but you see joy too. Like when you go to El Roi and Ester walks over to you with her whole face just lit up. You crouch down and she just falls/flops into your arms for a hug and then proceeds to sit in/claim your lap for the duration of the visit. How is God so big? He sees and saves this little girl, one of my little sisters who brings so much love and joy, but He doesn’t heal my big sister Nomsa who is fighting for her life.

            I'm sitting in silence as I write this, thinking about this past year and wondering, “What if my parents had said no?” Wondering how many people before them said no to this calling, and realizing how God allowed our whole family to be apart of His perfect plan. Maybe life would have been “easier” if we had stayed in Georgia, but we would have missed out on something greater than anything we could imagine. I would never have met these girls that I now call my sisters, my big sister and all of my little brothers and sisters.

            Then I pause and think about what’s to come. I'm moving to Taichung, Taiwan in 8 days from now for my Junior and Senior year (11^th & 12^th grade) of high school by myself. I could have gone back to Georgia or anywhere else God wanted me to be, but He made it clear to me that He wanted me to go to Morrison Academy. And if His plans are as perfect as everyone says they are, then why would I want to go anywhere else? Morrison is an American Christian international boarding school, with tons of missionary kids and TCK’s (Third Culture Kids) just like me. Its like “an island of misfit (freakin’ awesome) toys” and I can’t wait to call it home. 

            In a year and 8 days from now I'll read my journal entry from August 7, 2013, and see what my expectations, my fears, my hopes, and my questions were. But what I’m most genuinely excited for is to see how God has exceeded them all. 

           

            Wish me luck, 

                       

                        Chloe

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." 
     ~Jeremiah 29:11

What is Chloe really thinking? -- my mama & i

クロエと私は過去2週間のアジアであった。彼女は8月（グレード11と12）で学校へ行こうどこ我々は、台湾を訪問しているし、我々は我々の友人リック·ルーカスと彼の生徒たちを訪問する日本の沖縄に行きました。そこから私たちは、アフリカ日本のハートを起動するワン·ワールド·フェスティバルでの教師と生徒との結合に大阪に行ってきました。それは素晴らしい、教育と疲れる冒険されており、我々はクロエのための買い物服の日後の月曜日に家に帰る準備が整いました。

We have been learning Japanese all week and I wanted to practice my written Japanese for this blog.  That first paragraph really took a lot of work so I will switch back to English now. *

I asked Chloe to help me with this week’s blog since we have been together 24/7 for the past two weeks.  She said I could ask her questions and give her answers about the past few weeks so I hope you all enjoy her candidness and her heart. 

Janine:  Chloe, what was the best part of your first trip to Asia?

Chloe:  I loved meeting all the people at the Morrison Academy in Taichung, Taiwan.  I felt that God was there with me and that all my 16-year old doubts about the school and the situation got checked off as the days past.  I met people who were so different from anyone I have met before and I felt that I finally fit in somewhere, but could still be my unique self.    I love that I have met people who are like me and now I understand that I am a TCK and what that means.

Janine:  What is a TCK?

Chloe:  TCK is a “Third Culture Kid”.  It’s when a kid grows up in one culture and then moves to a whole new culture and goes to school with other kids from other cultures. This creates a third culture that brings everyone together and creates a new perspective or mindset.  That is the “third culture”. Every TCK understands that each person has gone through similar changes (moving, changing schools, loss of friends, starting over, world being flipped upside down etc).  My new school happens to be a place that brings TCK’s together creating a “home” when describing where “home” is, can be complicated. 

Janine:  Are you nervous about going to school a million miles away from your parents on a foreign continent?

Chloe:  As of right now, my answer is “no”.  I have already made one huge change in my life (moving to Africa) so change seems pretty normal nowadays.  Of course I will miss my parents, as any kid does when they first move away from home, but I am so unbelievably excited about this that it makes moving away much easier.

Janine: What did you think about the second part of your trip – your time in Japan?

Chloe:  Now THAT felt like a completely different planet than Taiwan, and Taiwan felt like a different planet than I had ever been on before.  The coolest part was being able to see my mom’s double life that she has been hiding all this time. The people she was talking about for the past five years were real.  I thought she was kidding when she told me she had to take off her designer boots and put on red rubber slippers when she entered a private High School in Japan… nope.  Dead serious.  But she does like her job, and I am glad she does.  I loved meeting people who are the same age as me, but who speak a different language and still having something in common. 

Janine:  What was the hardest part of your first trip to Asia?

Chloe:  Nothing is written in English.  Nothing. Every sign is in Mandarin or Japanese and we had to rely on others to help us around.

Janine:  Do you have any other thoughts that you would like share with the readers of this blog?

Chloe:  Yes.  Two is better than one.  It is always better to travel with someone than alone.  Traveling with my mom has been an enlightening experience, to say the least. Here are three travel tips that I learned in the past two weeks. 

1.     Sarcasm is a virtue – leverage it.

2.     When you feel like you have screwed up and created an international incident, remember to laugh, it’s better than crying.

3.     Enjoy the adventure - don’t be afraid of trying something new and miss out on something that might change your life.

Thanks for following us on this journey.  We are finishing up the ONE WORLD Festival tomorrow and head back to Swaziland on Monday night.  This has been an amazing trip, but it will be wonderful to be home again. 

Live from Japan… it’s very late on Saturday night.

Chloe and Janine

* If you know how to use google translator you will be able to see how I cheated  :)

16 & Living life

           It’s always hard to respond when people ask me where I'm from. Its even harder when someone asks “so what’s your story?” because I’m not sure if they really are interested and want to hear it or its like when your parents ask you how your day was and you say good and the conversation topic changes. You see, I have a couple of places I call home, but for starters, I was born in Toronto Ontario Canada July 5^th, 1996. The first time I went to Africa I was 8 years old (turned 9 in Africa-first birthday of many in Africa). My parents felt we were supposed to move to Atlanta Georgia when I was 9 almost 10.  People don’t generally remember too much from when they are little, but I will never forget my parents telling Spencer and I that we were moving to America. We were sitting down in a restaurant, hearing a couple of bribes (my parents were marketers.. ), and hearing that Josianne, our Nanny and my best friend wouldn’t be coming. I have no recollection of packing the house or even moving, but I won’t ever forget about that conversation, after all it was kind of a life-changing event. We lived in Georgia until right before I turned 16. While in Georgia I went to a private school called King’s Ridge Christian School until 8^th grade doing things from soccer (or “football” as they say here), and competition cheerleading to Student Council. Between 8^th grade and 9^th grade is when my parents mentioned we were moving to Africa. That sit down talk was much more recent, so I remember it quite well. It had been a pretty great day, we were at Costco and we decided to grab some lunch while we were there. Then my mom randomly says, “So Chloe, what would you think about moving to, oh I don’t know, maybe Swaziland?” Yet again with the bribes, from puppies to a car etc. (still working on that so called “car” …) When my family moves, we move countries and continents. If you’re going to move, make it big, right?  By this point I had changed schools and gone over to Milton High School for freshman year (9^th grade-Form 3) where I participated in the Cirque program.

Before I knew it, the year had flown by and we, the Maxwell family, were actually moving to Africa. After saying goodbye to friends at the airport it was only a 15-hour flight and a 5-hour drive to our new home. By this point I had spent every June-August in Africa (ranging from Swaziland, Kenya, Malawi, South Africa, Zimbabwe, etc.) since I was 8 (that’s 8 summers. -winters in Africa though). That’s a lot of Africa… and now we were moving there?  We’ve now lived here in Swaziland for 5 days less than 5 months, and that’s where I am on my journey.

          My grandpa asked me to write a blog about my different experiences or views on living in such completely different cultures: Canada, America & Africa.  I don’t remember much about Canada, but where I lived everything was really close. Spencer, Alexis, Sydney and I would ride our bikes into the “town” area all the time because it was so close. I went to a small private school called NDCA and that was all I knew. My world was small, but I guess the world isn’t that big for any little kid. Our move to Georgia opened my eyes hugely that there was a bigger world out there. Living in the “good ol’ southern hospitality” was an experience in itself, but an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything. That’s were I met my best friend Jordan Keim who has been my bestfriend for almost 6 years now, where I learned you can fry anything, and just where I lived a big portion of my life, so far. Moving to Africa has definitely been an adventure. My perspective has changed yet again, due to living in such a drastically different environment, but im pretty good with change now.

           From a small world of snow, to a bigger world with southern accents, to finally a 3^rd world (and my 3^rd world) country, my thoughts and perspective on things may differ from those of others. I now go to Waterford Kamhlaba International School which is apart of the United World Colleges (UWC), that is full of kids just like me. The conversations between people are pretty interesting and just different. Everyone that goes to my school, Waterford, has different view on the world,  and people want to hear each other’s perspectives so that they can understand just a little bit more about the world, or at least based on these people. Meeting someone from lets say Uganda and hearing there story about moving from place to place to place, the people they met, the experiences they had, etc. is just really cool.  And now I get the chance to tell a story of my own that’s just as unique as everyone else’s story here. My life has been kind of crazy, but as of yet, I wouldn’t change it if I could. 

          

            

This is real.

    This may have been the hardest week of my life, so far. How do I write about an emotion? No not one, but about a million. If I know that we are supposed to be here in Swaziland, why do I not want to be here? Life back in Georgia was so so so much easier. My small group leader (Alyse Jeffery) was one phone call away along with my small group. My friends were down the street or a couple miles away. School was closer and simpler. Internet was constant and fast. The food was what we were used to. Etc. I knew moving would be hard, and I knew I would have weeks where I missed all of this more than anything I've ever missed, but then you add on the other stuff…

    My Uncle Paul passed away this week, Thursday night. The Bannons live back at home home in Canada, Auntie Kim & cousins Jeremy, Matt, and Joanna. I can’t begin to imagine what they are going through right now. To think that they were supposed to be here last week, but then this malignant tumor came and now Uncle Paul is gone… my heart breaks for my cousins.

    When it comes to school, there is only a week and a half left of school until the August break. That means only 26 days until I get to go and visit home. Though school here is very “different,” if I hadn’t of come I wouldn’t of met all of the incredible people that I have met.

    Where is the balance…? I feel like the high days are the highest they’ve ever been (though there are not many of them) and the low days are so unbelievably low. God? Where are you? I knew moving and being here, life would be like this and I kept saying I wanted to see God and be “tested”… that was literally one of the most retarded things I’ve ever said… because he IS testing now.

    My life is literally a rollercoaster right now.. and I know I said I was ready for this, but man, this is hard. A friend of mine, who has been being “tested” from the day she accepted Christ into her life, told me once that she would rather be tested every day then have an easy going life of not being tested because she wants to fight for her Jesus, just as he fought for her. I need to get with the program because this is not going to get any easier any time soon.

     I know this blog post is kind of all over the map, but as I said, I'm trying to put something into words that isn’t normally put into words. Yes, this is getting harder, but I want/need to keep fighting every day. We are here, we did move to Africa, and we will keep fighting day by day. This is real.